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Randy Newman
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The Great Debate
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this great arena Durham, North Carolina, the heart of the Research Triangle We've come to this particular place tonight 'Cause we gotta look at things from every angle We need some answers to some complicated questions If we're going to get it right
To that end we have here gathered Some of the most expensive scientists in the world Eminent scientists, that is We got biologists, biometricians, got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians We got a cosmologist and a cosmetician, got an astronaut, we got Astro Boy We got he-doctors, she-doctors, knee doctors, tree doctors We a got a lumberjack and a life coach
On the other side, we have the true believers We got the Baptists, the Methodists, Presbyterians The Episcopalians are here, pass the hat We got the Shakers, the Quakers, the anti-innoculators The Big Boss Line from Madison Town The Six Blind Boys, Five Tons of Joy, give 'em room, get out of the way We got a Bible Belter from the Mississippi Delta Have them all arranged
Scientists, are you ready? First question: dark matter Oh, dark matter Give me someone knows somethin' about space
Nice space music, Georgie All right, what is it? Where is it? Can we get some? Stand up, sir, would you? You are standing, forgive me Dark matter, go ahead
Dark matter is out in space It's seventy-five percent of everything
Just a moment, sir. Do yourself a favor, use our music People like it, and your music's making people sick All right. It's a free country, go ahead Dark matter, what is it?
We don't know what it is, but we think it's everywhere
I'd like to take a look at it. Can we get some down here?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Of course not!
Let me get this straight: you don't know what it is You don't know where it is, and we can't get any? Put that to the one side Let's put the Lord, faith, eternity and whatever on the other side Show of hands?
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time Yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, yes I will I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time
All right, one-nothing Next one's gonna be a hard one It's about the theory of evolution, and it's about animals, also So, give me someone knows somethin' about evolution, and animals Who you got?
Wow, you're a beautiful woman, aren't you? Doesn't matter, of course, but if this science thing doesn't work out for you Don't boo me, don't boo me I'm just kiddin' you, you know that Here's my question: explain me the giraffe Go ahead 更多更详尽歌词 在 ※ Mojim.com 魔镜歌词网
Elaborate?
With pleasure, miss The giraffe, to survive, must eat leaves high up on the Yabba Yabba tree That's true, isn't it?
Of course it is. Everyone knows that!
But Mr. Darwin's giraffe, the halfway-giraffe, with a halfway-giraffe neck Could never have reached the highest branches of the Yabba Yabba Therefore, he could not have survived It's only common sense Unfortunately for you, Mr. Charles Darwin didn't have any common sense Evolution is a theory, and we have just now, tonight, disproved it Show of hands?
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time Yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, yes I will I'll take Jesus every time
All right, two-nothing Next question: global warming Is it, and if so, so what? One of the true believers seeks to be recognized Hand him a mic, Charles Thank you
Sir, do you know what you are? You're an idiot. You're a strawman, a fabrication You see, the author of this little vignette, Mr. Newman Self-described atheist and communist, creates characters, like you As objects of ridicule He doesn't believe anything he has you say Nor does he want us to believe anything you say Makes it easy for him to knock you down, hence, a strawman I, myself, believe in Jesus I believe in evolution, also. I believe in global warming, and in life everlasting No one can knock me down
Oh, we can knock you down, Mister We can knock your communist friend down, too Communist You call me an idiot We've been knocking people like Mr. Newman down for years and years Like this: page 35, Georgie Mrs. Dorothy, page 35
I know someone is watching me Everywhere I go Someone sees everything I see Knows everything I know When I'm in trouble, don't have a friend There's still somebody on whom I can depend Someone who'll be there 'till the very end Someone is watching me
Someone is watching me Someone is watching me For so long, I was too blind to see Someone is watching Someone is watching Someone is watching me
Take a little break, ladies and gentlemen Fifteen, twenty, twenty-five minutes Depending on how the merchandise is moving We'll be right back
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